I'm not a sports fan. I really can't be bothered to keep up with any one team in any sport. I like soccer and hockey because the rules are simple. Get the ball or puck in the net, get a goal, get a point, simple. I can't be bothered with a score-from-this-part-of-the-field-get-this-many-points, throw-it-this-way-get-points, hit-over-there-instead-of-here-lose-so-many-points type of system. I'm not strong in math, I can't compute a multiple point giving system. One goal, one point, simple.
Fans annoy me immensely. At my place of work, in our staff room, we have the television on a sports channel all the time, and we're not allowed to change it. I'm up to date with all the sports highlights of the previous night. When there is a game on, I gotta say that I sometimes wanna smack the fans. Every single sports fan has an opinion, a complaint, a suggestion and a loud mouth.
"C'mon! That's a foul! The ref is blind!"
"That guy is garbage! How did he make the team?!"
"What the fuck kind of a move is that?! Gah! "
"You know, what they should do, they should......"
The subtext of all this complaining is, "I know what I'm taking about. They don't know shit and if I was playing I'd be awesome." And it's usually the most inactive person ever making the majority of these statements.
Well I say unto you, oh slob of a fan, if you're so great why aren't you out there playing? Why aren't you the one calling the shots for the team? Why aren't you the one with all the pressure on their shoulders? Why aren't you the one earning millions of dollars? Why not? Because you lack talent, physical ability, determination, discipline and drive, that's why.
By all means, if your team plays poorly, or is subjected to bad sportsmanship from the opposing side, you have every right to feel badly. But don't start saying how you do things differently if you were there. These guys are under a lot of strain to be the best. Add on whatever else might be plaguing them, family issues, physical ailments, etc. and let's see how well you would handle the situation on the pitch. Shut up and enjoy the game.
That's fans taken care of, now on to the athletes.
Firstly, after the game at the press conference, don't speak. Most of you can't articulate your thoughts let alone your words properly. Your monotone explanations of why you just lost the game irk me. And if you use just one more cliche in your explanations, I will scream.
Next, can we talk about the salary please? Athletes are paid hundred of thousands if not millions of dollars annually. Now, I understand that they get injured frequently, medical expenses and maintenance is costly. I also understand that athletes have a limited shelf life. They can only actively participate in the sport until their mid thirties or so before their bodies give out on them. A large salary, carefully managed, could secure them a comfortable living well into their old age. But what about dancers or Olympic athletes that don't garner sponsorship deals after the games? They have the same health issues as so called professional athletes, same shelf life, but they'll never see the kind of money some of these professionals make.
And I'm sorry, when I hear athletes complaining that they're taking a two million dollar salary cut off of their ten million dollar contracts, I have no sympathy. You can't buy a new car this year, boohoo, go cry to someone who cares. Teachers have a much more difficult job than you do, and only make tens of thousands of dollars a year. You're an entertainer, your job is only vital to maintain our sanity in our humdrum lives, but your jobs are superfluous. (I haven't forgotten about overpaid actors either in this rant, but I'm talking athletes not actors right now.)
The hilarious part of all this is that they can't even do their jobs properly! The only thing required of any athlete participating in a team sport is to get the ball/puck in the goal. That's it. And ninety five percent of the time they can't do it! These people are essentially failing at their jobs and are getting rewarded for it! At any other job, I don't care what it is, if you had a failure rate as high as most athletes have you would take a massive pay cut or lose your job altogether.
Yes, yes, I know what makes it all fun to watch is to see two teams of equal strength battle for the most points, that's where the athleticism comes in, the skill, the competitive aspect. But every time they don't make a goal, or a home run, they still are technically failing at their jobs. And every time a goalie or defence man let's the ball in, they have failed at their jobs. Just sayin'. Athletes fail at their jobs most of the time.
I realize that I am a fat slob complaining about other fat slobs complaining about sports, but the difference between my rants and theirs, is that I don't profess to know any more on the subject than I already do. I don't think I could perform better than the professionals because I know I can't. I take issue with loud mouth fans and large salaries based on a lack of performance.
Sports are fun to watch. They provide us with a distraction from our mundane lives. They give us something to debate about, to let our aggression out, but for the love of Pete, could we put things in perspective? It's a game. Just a game. If your team loses this year, maybe they'll do better next year. Sports are never going to go away. Your team loses the Stanley Cup, the World Series, the Super Bowl, the Grey Cup, whatever, they'll have a shot again next season. It is not the end of the world. Besides, when hockey season ends, baseball begins. Chill.
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