But I've got to say, lately there seems to be an uncommonly strong spiritual presence creeping up on me. But like, a lot.
A couple of months ago, my neighbour passed away after a long and aggressive battle with cancer. As sad as her passing was, her family assured us that she was in a better place. We had no idea how religious she and her family in fact were. During the ceremony, her sons sang rock versions of hymns, stories of rehabilitating inmates through prayer were told, and I have never heard so many people cry "Praise Jesus!" "Hallelujah!" and "Amen" ever. It was starting to get to be a bit too much for me. After two and a half hours and ten eulogies, my throat completely dried out. I started to choke. I ran out of the church into the parking lot, leaving my purse behind. My lungs were shaking, I was coughing so violently.
"Water! Water! I need water!" I thought. "Dear God, let the car door be unlocked so I can grab a bottle of water!"
I don't think I can explain how freaked out I was when I wrenched the door open and grabbed my bottle. I was flabbergasted that it was unlocked. I genuinely had a moment of thinking, "Holy crap, I was suffering, I prayed for aid, someone heard me, and I was saved." This is what listening to people talk about the miracles of God for a few hours will do to a cynical, yet clearly impressionable mind. I was shaken, but brushed it off.
Skip ahead a bit. In the last few weeks, more and more of my co-workers have come out as being big time Bible thumpers. You can imagine my surprise as I know many of them to be sex crazed, party animals that drink a wee bit too much. I'm finding more and more of the conversation is geared toward to topic of religion. Well, although I profess not to believe in any specific faith, I realize that I am actually quite ignorant when it comes to the worlds' religions. But ignorance has never really stopped anyone from arguing a point to death, so I just kept insisting that they could not convert me, no matter how strongly they tried to persuade me. Let them have what comforts them, but don't ask me to believe.
I'm also finding that most of the plays I audition for have a lot of characters that do read the Bible, and live by it. Well, theatre is my religion, the stage my temple, so if a play has a Christian leaning I suppose as a good actor, I should do my research and read the Bible.
I went to the book shop, combed through the many versions available and found one that seems to be tailor made for me. It's two tones of purple (my favourite colour!), it doesn't look like a Bible, in fact it does not even have the words "Holy Bible" written on the cover or spine. It is written in our contemporary English, which is perfect because not only is it easy to grasp the meaning of the text, I don't feel like I'm reading anything sacred. I don't feel like I have to hold the text in reverence like I would if I were reading the King James Version or even the New International Version too.
So, I've begun to read the good book. I won't say what I feel about the text, as I run the risk of offending folks, that and I've yet to make a dent in this massive tome. Shouldn't really pass judgment until I've finished the thing. When will that be? I have no idea.
Anyways, I'm reading it.
Now, back to all of this creeping up on me. Last week, I ran into a priest who asked for directions. The other day flipping through the television, I came across a documentary about women in the church. It was interesting but I quickly moved on. I saw a pack of nuns this morning out for a stroll. This afternoon, I not kidding, two Amish couples asked me where the train station was. ... I'm not kidding! Two Amish couples in downtown Montreal, with full breads, plain black and blue clothes, flat hats, bonnets, and ancient suitcases asked how to get to the train station!
I got off my own train and went to wait for the bus. There was a large book forgotten on the bench. I picked it up and it was a women's devotional Bible.
I was just flipping through it when a woman joins me at the stop, and says "Oh! I have that version, it's really excellent. How are you enjoying it?"
"Oh, well, I just found this here. It's not mine."
"Well, you should give it a good home. I just came from church, myself. We've been using that edition."
"Does it perhaps belong to someone in your congregation? There's a name here..."
"Nope, no one in our church by that name. It's a sign. You're meant to have. Enjoy it! Happy reading!"
.........Now, I have yet another Bible. It too is purple.
I mean, I have pondered my place in this world. Wondering how I can contribute to better helping my fellow human beings, but becoming a nun or vicar? Seems a bit much.
Like I said, I'm not religious, I'm not spiritual but I am superstitious and becoming paranoid.
Maybe there is someone out there and they are trying to send me a message?
I think I'll walk under a ladder holding a black cat, with the shards of a broken mirror in my pocket, and take my chances that way.
